Thursday, 17 August 2017

I’m not a girl, I’m definitely a woman

As I’m nearing the end of my 20s, I’m really seeing the distinction between a girl and a woman.

A lot of my friends in my age group that are not yet parents, myself included, feel like we are still “forever 21”. However, lately I've really started to realise that we have mentally matured (thank goodness) and are embracing womanhood and gracefully moving into the next decade of our lives.

Below, I would like to share my personal lessons and experiences.

On Fashion & Accessories 
Less is MORE! Find the LOOK you are going to take into the next decade and collect good quality timeless pieces for your LOOK!

If you are a typical shopaholic girl with no financial responsibilities in your 20s and have had an abundance of disposable income to splash on glam & fashion… I’m sure by your late 20s you would have collected a LOT of… well tbh.. crap!

So take a look back on the last 10 years: what items of clothes have become staples and what items have been a once off wear/waste of money items?

Let me take a wild guess – all the cheapie below $50 items? You get what you pay for! Most expensive stuff have the expensive prices tags for a reason!

And ladies, is it overwhelming when you go through your tornado of a closet? Mountains of shoes you prob worn once and because it caused so much pain and blisters you have now associated the pain with that pair of shoes and shiver at the thought of wearing it out again, yet you don’t have the heart to throw it out cos they’re oh so gorg!?

Hands up if y’all can relate!

And as the drunken party nights are getting rarer and rarer… ask yourself, do you really need a million and one party outfits, clubbing shoes, cheap statement jewellery that are fading in colour and rusting away?

Gurrrl if this is you, it’s time to do a MAJOR MATERIAL GOODS DETOX! I thoroughly recommend the Kon Mari book if you haven’t read it already! It is time to Kon-Mari the f*** out of your shit! J

So I hope by now, you have found your “look” or have decided on the look you are going for that you are taking into the next decade! If you haven’t yet, I suggest you start there! Spend some time on pinterest, create a board and get clarify on what look you want to go for!

Check out our pinterest boards! Here and Here!

 How to work out your LOOK

Work out your look for each of these categories casual, semi-casual, semi-formal, formal, misc activies – beach, gym etc.

ONLY keep/buy items that is in line with the looks you have decided on. Get rid of everything else!
When you have clarity on this, next time when you are “just browsing” and you are itching to swipe that card, ask yourself if you will wear that item for the next 10 years and if it adheres to “your look”. If the answer is no, move on!

Here is a boring but practical magic term to learn: cost per wear.

What is cost for wear? Ok say if you bought a $50 dress but you wear it only once vs a $1000 watch that you wear every day for a year. Cost of wear for dress = $50, for the watch= $2.74 Heck it can even be a $10,000 watch and it would be more worth it to purchase than a $50 once off dress! And I’m sure you would wear this 10,000 for more than 365 days in this lifetime of yours!

Here is the looks I have decided on for the next 10 years J

Casual & semi-casual: Crop tops & high waisted shorts and pants!
Why: makes my leg look longer. I’m too lazy to wear stockings & dresses for winter now, and it’s not as practical to wear skirts in summer. So pants & shorts for me all the way!

Semi-formal, formal: Tight crops & high waisted pencil skirts, tight full body dresses
Why: It’s time to embrace my womanly curves and show them off with tight sexy dresses instead of a whole bunch of loose tops and dresses that I currently have!

Shoes: I opt for comfort over heels now. I’ve started to buy Nike, Adidas and starting a collection of ankle boots for winter as I have decided on pants over dress & stockings for winter J

Active wear: It’s Lorna Jane and Lorna Jane only for me baby! I used to think it was ridiculous to spend that much on active wear… but boy… worth every dime!! J

In conclusion: I have opted for a style that makes me feel sexy and womanly while flattering for my body J For casual, I went for comfort but still looking chic and not daggy!

On Beauty & Makeup

Yes, I used to be obsessed with makeup and skincare and spent a TON of money on them! I have tried all kinds of skincare and makeup under the sun! From the expensive department counter brands to affordable drugstore brands.

In conclusion, in the case of skincare and makeup, expensive doesn’t necessarily mean good! For makeup, you DEFINITELY need to invest in a good set of makeup brushes. I have had the same MAC brushes for years and they are still amazing and totally worth the investment! You need not only good quality makeup, but also the right tools to apply them! And girls, u don’t need to spend a bomb for good quality makeup!

I know girls have the habit of collection a million and one lip sticks, lip glosses, blushes, eye shadows… you name it! And at the end of the day.. how many of these products do you actually use?
After 10 years, I have a holy grail list of products that I religiously stick to. Please let me know if you want me to do a separate blog post on this!

As for skincare, I do think it’s a good idea to pamper yourself with a facial once in a while instead of splurging on a lot of expensive products you don’t have the time to use. Keep your skincare routine as simple as possible. It is more important to take care of your inside as your skin is our largest organ and bad skin spells bad health! So eat well and take care of your health and your skin will love you thank you by looking beautiful and glowing!

Lately, I have started to not only look after my face but the rest of my body as well with this all natural coffee scrub and my skin can’t thank me enough! My skin is now super soft and smooth and hydrated throughout winter! Goodbye flaky legs J

On Men & Dating

For all the single ladies that are in your late 20s, dating is a whole diff ballgame now vs when you are dating in your early 20’s. The following is written on the assumption that you are dating to find a husband and is written in my personal view point. I am not saying this is right or wrong mindset for when you are dating in your late 20s.

Gone are the days of guessing and playing mind games. If you are keen on a man, go for it! Make the first move, ask them out for a coffee, and get to know them. I’m sure (at least I hope) by this point, you have a very clear idea of what you want and what you don’t want. If you still have no idea, I urge you to get very clear about this. The whole point of all past failed relationship is for you to learn from and make better choices for the future.

There’s no time for time wasters. What kinda men are time wasters?

  • The players. Hook up then disappear. When we are naïve and young, yes we may be hell devo when this happens. However, for a woman in their late 20’s, you’ve seen it all done it all. Have your fun, have your hot one night stand, enjoy the moment and then it’s like chess, they move, you move. If you don’t hear from them after that steamy ONS, that’s fine, there’s PLENTY of fish in the sea J Ain’t nobody got time for players that’s gona play play play play…
  • The men with commitment issues or can’t make up their mind on what they want. They tell you they love you but yet they can’t commit. That’s not a man, doesn’t matter if their age says they are. They’re just a boy that can’t get their shit together.

As unromantic as this may sound, by this point, dating is like conducting job interviews. Their Tinder or Facebook profile is their resume and you are considering them for the position as your lifetime partner. And remember, there’s plenty of “applicants” out there. If you can’t see something long term after date no. 3-5. Move onto the next candidate J

It may sound harsh but it is also the reality. Women in their late 20s ain’t got time to waste!

On Mindset

Over the years, my priorities have definitely shifted. No longer do I have a million and one selfies in my phone and nor do I spend much time and money on the superficial.  My focus have definitely shifted towards wealth creation and financial sustainability rather than how to spend my money and instant gratifications. I have definitely toned down the hyper active child in me and have developed more patience, understanding and consideration for others.

It’s time to say goodbye to the fickle, insecure little girls in us and it’s time to embrace and love yourself for all your strengths as well as flaws. Insecure mindset is unattractive.

Spend more time nourishing the mind instead of the looks. Read more. If you don’t enjoy reading, listen to audio books, watch educational videos. Invest more in yourself than your wardrobe. Focus more on your mind & body & soul. Because that’s what really matters at the end of the day. Focus on developing healthy lifestyle habits that you will pass down to your children.

In the last 3 years, I have spent more money and time on personal development courses and spiritual teachings than fashion and makeup, and looking back, it is truly money and time well spent. I also exercise and eat much better and have a sexier body now than in my early 20s.

I’ve had a smashing 10 years, and I’m looking forward to the next 10 J

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